Carry Me

If you told me this is where I would be, at this point in life, I would probably not believe you. Not because of all the great stuff I experienced, but rather so much pain I made it through. Really the pain I see in others who have gone through similar experiences. If you told me I would have to watch them suffer, I probably would’ve been so sad and wondered why things happened the way they did. If you told me, “oh, that’s life Bobby…” I would say, yeah, I wanted more time; not a lifetime, but more time. If you told me how grateful I can be, on a quiet Wednesday morning, alone in my place, I wouldn’t believe you. Gratitude wasn’t a thing from 0-30 really. It was shaped as things eroded. It was there, but hidden in a hard shell of survival….instead of reflection. If you told me I would have a before and after in life; well that I would probably believe. Like one of my favorite Foo Fighters song, “I’m getting tired of starting again, somewhere new…” This life, the hard, the struggle, the survival, the growth of gratitude and the blindness of criticism….let it empower you…there’s a reason sporting events have timeouts, halftimes, ends of innings…everything that happens, ends, everything that happens, begins. Face the sun with strength and pride and when there is no strength, go inside your heart and remember when your most special person carried strength in their heart for you….and smile…cause they never even told you how much they were carrying for you…because they knew, one day, you’d be carrying it for someone you love. 

Bob

Reframe

The silver lining is that the most important version of her isn't stored on a piece of glossy paper or a hard drive anyway. It’s hardwired into the way you remember how she made you feel when you were running on empty, and the grace she gave you.

Sometimes, the lack of photos means your mind gets to hold onto the memory in its purest form—just the feeling of it, unattached to an image.

Done

I’ve done a lot of shit in my life. You know what? I haven’t done it with you and that’s what I want. I want you next to me on this journey of life. You are what makes it complete. You are what makes it love. You are what gets into my soul, to where, if you’re not there, it is not a complete moment. You are what’s missing. 

DM

You gave me

Hope. Laughs. Confidence. An inviting smile. A blush. A new outlook. Honesty. Real. Comfort. Friendly. Happy. Excited. Curious. 

Sometimes all a person needs is someone to talk to about life. It’s special when you connect with a perfect stranger you meet by pure chance who opens their heart and mind to listen and interact. You don’t know how much you helped me that night.

It past...

I can't change the past. I can't apologize for it again. I can't celebrate it again. The past, often linked with regret of wrongs, is set in stone. We dwell sometimes in those past moments. More so if you're in a dark place of wondering where things went off course, where they went right, where you would be had you not made the wrongs. Granted, there are many happy moments from the past. Time is flying by. One day you're 25, the next 45, next 65....as you move forward, you forget the wrongs, heck, you may forget the rights, you want to remember the good moments, the special times, those private struggles you got through, and those times when you couldn't see the silver lining...only to be here today....knowing there was a lesson in that time. Here's a toast to the past....still the best teacher in the history of man.

"Never regret your past. Rather, embrace it as the teacher that it is." Robin Sharma

Barbarian Days - Basso Profundo Pg. 402 by William Finnegan

At Tony's suggestion, we did not stay in Jardim, but up the mountain, at an inn in a seventeenth-century quinta. The inn had a small pool that looked out on the ocean. Mollie, almost two, called the ocean "big pool" Driving down into Jardim with a board on my car, I felt people turning away from me in the praça. I imagined they were ashamed. Or maybe they just hated surfers now.

The devastation along the shoreline was hard to comprehend, even while standing beside it. I had said it would be impossible to build a walk-way, but that was because I lacked imagination. Vast quantities of rock and dirt had been trucked in and dumped along the waterfront, right around the headland. The job was not complete, but it was already clear that, with enough landfill, they could build an eight-lane freeway along the coast if they chose. Huge yellow earthmovers were roaring back and forth on the landfill, which was not yet paved. In a plume extending from Jardim, the ocean was milky brown with mud. And between the half-built roadway and the water was the most hideous seawall I had ever seen-featureless and yet painful to the eyes. The blocks looked like thousands of angrily discarded coffins. This was the new shoreline. Brown wavelets lapped against the blocks.

Untethered Soul Pg. 179 - The Loving Word of God

 Think about it. It wouldn't even cross your mind to hold back. You would give anything and everything for your beloved. When you feel love this deeply, you feel that it is coming from something greater than you. It is transcendental love. It is divine, unconditional, selfless love. The masters spoke of that love. The ones who went beyond said it's the state you attain when you drift into Spirit. That is how Spirit looks upon its creation. That is what you should be taught. No matter what you do, and no matter what you've done, you will always be loved by Him.

When Christ told the story of the prodigal son to his disciples, he spoke of one son who had gone away and squandered all his wealth. Yet when he came home for help, his father treated him better than the son who had stayed home and worked. Christ explained that this was because one son had always been home, but the prodigal son had been lost, and the father had missed him. There was no judging—only loving (Luke

15:11-32).

Christ also said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone..." (John 8:7). What did he teach? What did he say? How did he look upon this world? He taught completely selfless, compassionate love.

He hung on the cross next to thieves and robbers, and when a thief asked to be remembered, Christ said that he would share that day in heaven with him (Luke 23:39-43). What were his first words upon the cross? "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). That is the love of a mother. That's how a mother talks about her child. The level of love and compassion is so deep that the child can do no wrong. If a mother can attain to selfless love, then what about God, the creator of love?

Do you want to know how God looks upon this world? Do you want to know how He feels about different kinds of people? Then look at the sun. Does the sun shine more brightly on a saint than on anyone else? Is the air more available to the saint? Does the rain fall on one neighbor's trees more than another's?

You can turn your eyes from the sun's light and live in darkness for a hundred years. If you then turn them toward the light, the light is still there. It is there for you just the same as for the person who has enjoyed its brilliance for a hundred years. All of nature is like this. The fruit on the tree willingly gives itself to everyone. Do any of the forces of nature