time

I always set too many expectations on this day. And sometimes my expectations meet. Sometimes they're not. Sometimes there's a surprise that I didn't expect. After a tumultous year I am ready to part with 2008. I guess I can say that in a good way though cause a lot of good things happened this year. So while I will part with the past 12 months, I have learned a lot and have grown as a person. I guess that's all you can expect to do in this life. As much as I may have expected certain things to happen that did not I take solace in what's to come. I want to celebrate the year to come, but don't want to forget how we all grew this past year. I'm always one to want to move forward. I know some of us get stuck or mired in muck sometimes, but move forward with your life. I guess moving forward means something different to everyone....but time moves forward with or without you, so keep your eye on the prize and the other on the clock. You can get the prize, but you can't get that time back.

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resolutions..

I want to say my news years resolution would to be to stop being naive about life and be more honest with the person that I am. But I guess I like being naive about life. It lets me believe that all people have good intentions, that dreams and miracles do happen, and that Santa Claus is real, he just wears a different uniform during the other 364 days of the year. I guess you can be naive about certain situations so maybe when they occur you at first are surprised and next you are just saying "well, that was unexpected..." Most of all I guess it comes down to having a little sense of pride. Pride for who you are, who you were, and who you've become. I wish everyone the sense of pride that comes with being who you are. Who you are to the people who care most about you. Who you are to those that love you. And who those people are that smile when they think of you or when you're around. I think the greatest sense of pride comes when you can you be exactly the person you want to be in many of life's situations. The ups and downs will come, but consistency will impress people as you remain steadfast in being the person you want to be.

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everyone

Everyone has a past I figure. I guess some of us dwell on it. Some of us revel in it. Some of us try to fix it. Some of us can't get past it. And then some of us forget about it. I guess we're all a mix of that. For all the things I want to forget about from my past they've made me who I am today. Some of it helped. Some of it didn't. Some of it hurt. Some of it made you happy. But everyone has a past. It's just like a suitcase you carry around. You have to remember that while you are who you are, on every trip you're bringing along some things you need, some things you think you'll need, some new clothes and some old clothes........but most of all....just make sure you enjoy the trip and bring something good home with you. Most likely you won't be visiting again....

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do the right thing

Doing the right thing will not always be justified by the reaction because reactions are immediate and usually inaccurate. Only when you have time to think about how something made you feel do you possibly understand its effect (affect). Really, reactions can be what they will be. A reaction does not always mirror the action.

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christmas

So it's Christmas and I don't think I'm gonna get what I wanted. I guess it doesn't change much from when I was a kid. You want something so bad and you don't get it....a few months down the road you realize you don't want it as much as you once did. Or...you want something else at that point. I guess if it was something you really wanted and you wait and ask for it again, you might get it. I'm not the type that likes to wait. Especially when other kids are getting the gifts I want.

Here's to you Santa Claus.....maybe it's better you don't give me what I want. The toy truck will do just fine I guess.

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choice

I think for some people, they believe it is a conscious choice to be happy. For others, its happiness that grows unknowingly inside of them that makes the choices for them.

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Ok. So I was wrong about surprises, but still right about magic shows...

Surprises can be a good thing. I figured that out last night. A surprise can be a great thing when the surprise is even better than you first expected to happen. As people, I think we all set expectations on what you think will happen in life. But man, it's great when what you expect doesn't happen. What happens turns out to be even better than you expected. Right?

Then again I don't know if any girl is ever surprised by a bigger diamond. Seems like that rock can always be....as she said "a little bit bigger....." Ha. Man. Expectations.

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the creature

So my good friend posted his status on Sunday night. His status said "...is a creature of habit and is going food shopping..." His timing couldn't of been more appropriate and I thought of something today as I was walking back from the bathroom this morning. We are creatures of habit. Even if those habits are bad. So I ask....if you've been walking on glass for some time and gotten used to the pain of walking on glass (recycled). Do you even know what it feels like to walk on feathers and when you do get a chance to walk on feathers is it so new and unknown that you just end up stepping right back into a bucket of glass just because you're a creature and used to feeling pain?

I've stepped on both, but man, feathers feel good on any part of your body. Duh. :)

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guess

the excitement of uncertainty can usually be narrowed down to birthday surprises and endings of movies. I don't think it can be as fun in any other facet of life. unless you frequent magic shows.....and I don't know too many people that are frequent visitors of magic shows. Not sure I want to know those people either. random thought.

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banter

Sometimes when I'm faced with a dilemma or personal decision, I throw it out there amongst the crowd and see what mish-mash of suggestions I get back and then make my decision, but the older I get, the more I learn that people are just as clueless as I can be about certain situations in life. And if you have a friend/peer that was burned before in a similar situation.....well, you don't want to ask them because they'll be totally biased and scorn....so what to do? I sometimes ask the Big Guy upstairs, but I think I ran out of chances with him. :) Sometimes I ask my grandfather, but mostly his response to every dilemma is "I'd tell them to go pound sand up their ass"...Yes, this goes for every man, woman, and child that gives "Pop-Pop" a tough time. Sometimes I ask a close friend and they do their best to help, but well, sometimes, I don't listen to well.

I guess the best person to ask is myself. At least then I can give myself shit for the decision or answer I come to. I mean, I'm the most well-informed on situations involving me. I think the days of saving face and all this crap about pride are in my past. You take those roads in life and you could end up a stubborn, miserable grouch.....I guess it's okay to make a decision to protect yourself from getting hurt again. No one would ever fault you for that......except maybe yourself for shutting the door on an opportunity.

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possibility of potential

I feel like the possibility of potential can sometimes set you up for false expectations. I guess we let our minds think things can be a certain way, but if you think things will be great and it's anything but great you may feel let down. We always want to think things will turn out the way we hoped, but in reality things will turn out the way they will. I figure everyone has potential.....but they can be potentially bad or potentially good.

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what it takes

It takes a good person to admit to themselves they were wrong. It takes a great person to admit to others they care about that they were wrong. I do appreciate the honesty that humans can present to each other in interaction. Even if we've been told the average person lies 3 times in every 10 minute conversation.....I appreciate the person who is honest the rest of the time.

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essence

Sometimes I wonder if the true human essence is being able to feel pain or being selfish enough to feel that pain, contain it and spare the masses the heartache of what you felt. I guess pain wakes us up and alerts to how human we really are inside. I don't believe pain will always make one enact change, but it sure does make you want to change that moment. If for a second, minute or hour, you don't have to be there feeling what you felt. If you could, you would remove yourself from the way you feel and how hurt you are at that moment.....but if we remove ourselves do we ever feel better about the next time we encounter such a situation?

I guess, sometimes, in certain situations, you just can't avoid the possibility that you may get hurt. But at least appreciate the possibility that by getting through that hurt you have grown that much more as a person having experienced your personal tragedy.

I guess I want to throw out a canned statement and say "what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger", but being strong doesn't mean you can't be sad for a few minutes, a few days, a few whatever. It's your personal time. Do with it as you may my good pal. :-)

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inspire

inspiration comes in so many ways and shapes. sometimes inspriration can come when you feel at your lowest. sometimes inspiration falls by the wayside when you are at the top of your game.
today the inspiration came from the view from the back.

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one

I don't see the reason in trying to be everything to everyone. I do see reason in being something to someone.

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reflection

It's kind of strange. You can always think you know what you want, but you feel the most when you're caught off guard by something great that happens. A moment, a place, a time. I feel we are most excited by the spontaneous, but also by the unexpected moments you catch when you look at someone or something when they're not looking at you and you kind of catch that sunlight off of their face and the warmth reflects upon you. It's kind of strange how the good in someone or something can make you realize what is good in you or lack there of.....

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